Do you worry that you over-think and take this all too seriously? I like your work, but this post makes me feel that you are going round and round in circles. Self pity is the photographers worst enemy. If you want to do somethign differently then do it - or in 12 months time you will be posting another blog bemoaning your luck/how hard it is. Only you can make the changes, you can't expect other people to make them for you.

So what is your excuse? Just do it or stop moaning.